By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL
“The most unexpected provocation is unprovoked.” ― Tamerlan Kuzgov
Workplace harassment existed way before 1964, when the Civil Rights Act was enacted in the United States. In fact, harassment morphed into a big enough issue by 1980 to persuade the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) to issue regulations defining sexual harassment and stating it was a form of sex discrimination. Looking back over years of work, I began to realize how pervasive this form of unjust workplace behavior occurred and how long it was tolerated.
Some memorable moments come to mind. I thought back to college days when a date often meant avoiding probing hands, and unwanted invitations to the men’s dorms. Then I heard of a young college student working as a waitress, when a manager consistently commented on the size of the young woman’s breasts. Many years later, a young, newly married woman faced insinuations about the reason for the few minutes she was late to work. Also, a fellow worker stopped her in the hallway and remarked about the initials on her purse which were MTN and said they should read TNT.
These incidents all took place well after the Civil Rights Act of 1964 became law, but not soon enough to be characterized as discrimination under the 1980 EEOC ruling. What were women’s options back then? Really nothing. The normal reaction consisted of a shrug, a smirk, or silence. Employers certainly were not ready to jump in and reprimand the offenders, and the victims just had to learn to avoid certain people as they traversed their workday because their complaints would largely go ignored.
Harassment doesn’t stop when women mature into their 30s and 40s. An older married man, a boss, in a large corporate organization continually leered at women, especially attractive ones. One woman suspected he was calling her in the middle of the night and breathing heavily into the phone. He often regaled his exploits and affairs, sharing explicit details no one else wanted to hear, particulary the female co-workers in the office. Other women experienced harassment when former husbands stalked a new house after remarriage, or the home of the couple’s babysitter.
A question in a recent issue of HR Magazine asked, “Can we discipline an employee for alleged sexual harassment after work hours?” The question struck me suddenly, triggering a long-forgotten memory, as I recalled being asked to review some work material in a male co-worker’s hotel room. I thought nothing of it at the time, until he moved the discussion to the bed. Then I decided our meeting was concluded, and the conversation was over. I left feeling very uneasy. He still contacted me from time to time, looking for an opening. It never occurred to me to report this incident as harassment. I just tried to avoid the person, even though we had many common interests and could have helped each other’s careers.
Harassment takes place in unexpected places, catching women off guard. It can appear in close knit church groups, where women, married and unmarried, all know each other, Still, there was no end to the flirting and outright suggestiveness of the husbands to some divorced and unmarried women. These men followed women out to their cars and openly propositioned them. One way I found to discourage these conversations was to ask these men where they intended to spend their holidays. That quickly ended the discussion. Still, I thought people a church group would have more integrity, but instead the group was used as an opportunity to seek out willing women.
Later, working in a new state, I received many phone calls from married men looking to meet me for drinks or dinner. A once trusted consultant insinuated that I invite him to my apartment after a business dinner. I can’t describe the shock I felt.
Yet again, as a seasoned professional, many years into my career I witnessed swearing, openly using the “C” word, yelling, slamming doors and objects, and intimidation towards women at after-hours work sponsored events. Complaints were made but nothing was done to correct this behavior. In fact, the harasser ended up with a better office than the complainer.
Should these incidents have been considered off-hours harassment? Apparently so according to the 1980 statute. The problem was and still is that women just didn’t know about the statute and the rights the act protected or were and still are too afraid or intimidated to report these types of incidents. The HR Magazine article defines the reportable events and asserts that when a complaint is made “Employers must conduct an unbiased, thorough investigation to determine its validity.” And the main reason given is that the conduct “may put an employer in legal or financial jeopardy…” In fact, that may be the only motivator to teach people to behave as they would treat their mothers, wives, and daughters, and not leverage their positions to take advantage of unwitting women who believe the intentions of the offenders are virtuous. Now it seems virtuousness doesn’t even exist in church, never mind at work.
“…we need to turn the question around to look at the harasser, not the target. We need to be sure that we can go out and look anyone who is a victim of harassment in the eye and say, ‘You do not have to remain silent anymore.” – Anita Hill
Connect with Mary:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marytosullivan/
www.encoreexecutivecoaching.com
mary@encoreexecutivecoaching.com
