By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL
“How many of us want to be remembered merely as the person who spent their lives striving to get ahead of everyone else?” – Carl Richards, in the New York Times
We Could Fail
Best-selling author and renowned leadership expert, Simon Sinek, has opinions about competitiveness at work. Most of us came into our careers believing that we needed to be better than the next person and compete for recognition by upper management. It seems the motivation was to best our fellow workers while divining the path to that elusive next level. This strategy did not always lead to the outcome we thought; maybe managed to advance but left serious collateral damage in our wake. We reached that six-figure number but maybe had to relocate across the country or across the world and leave family, friends, and everything familiar behind. The drive to achieve the next promotion, pay raise, or big title may have satisfied the longing to be on top, however, it may come with unanticipated consequences. In the words of Simon Sinek, “To succeed takes more than the desire to win. It also takes the acceptance that we could fail.”
An Endless Struggle
In a 2019 article in The New York Times, Financial Advisor Carl Richards advocates avoiding perceived failure or disappointment by not viewing goal setting or career advancement as an endless struggle. “You don’t have to participate in a game that will constantly pit you against the competition, which may well amount to everyone else in the world. Over competitiveness can also lead to mental health issues as well as ruin relationships, and even rock markets around the world. Popular movies such as Margin Call and Wall Street portray competitiveness at is worst, where financial ruin and a wrecked economy were the outcome of unscrupulous behavior, for the sake of get of besting the other guy. If you’ve seen the movie Disclosure with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore, you’ll see how reverse sexual harassment was used as a tactic to push a person out of their job. The female lead character could not compete based on talent or ability, so she devised a calculating reverse harassment plot to force the man out of the company. Ultimately, the plot failed, and the blowback was consequential. Obviously, people’s values were distorted in these cases, and cheap tactics and bending rules didn’t overcome their desire for power and the enticement of winning.
Winning Too Much
These examples prove Simon Sinek’s point that “If your goals center around ‘winning’ at something, you’re in trouble.” Rather focus your goals on a becoming authentic. For example, a former NFL linebacker realized he needed to revise his goals after being crushed too many times on the field. He wasn’t reaching his full potential competing in that world, and his mental and physical health were at risk. Once he changed direction, and entered the entertainment business, he experienced his desired success by winning two Emmy nominations.
Keeping Score
Competitiveness can easily morph into “score keeping”, counting how often you are right and everyone else is wrong. As a leader, claiming that you are always right eventually will demoralize and demotivate those around you, according to recent studies. And what’s the benefit of being fueled by proving everybody else wrong? The energy spent figuring out your next moves and clever retorts to prove yourself right and to “win” is exhausting. When you are trapped in the “must be right” vicious cycle, ask yourself if this behavior is good for your mental health and that of others. Chances are, you’ll run out of gas before you convince anyone of your sanctimony. According to Simon Sinek, this mindset is the same unhealthy attitude that” business leaders often get caught in”. He firmly believes there is no such thing as being number one, because no one stays at the top forever. There will always be someone else who eventually will knock you off your pedestal.
There May Be No Rules
There really is no need for overt competition in the workplace. First, many times the rules for competing are not defined or there are no rules. You may take an assignment you believe to be an advancement, only to discover that once the program ends, there is no job for you. You can avoid jumping into opportunities you believe will get you ahead if you focus on being the best that you can be by ensuring you set goals for yourself that make sense. When your objectives stop making sense, it’s time for introspection, and the ability to assess what’s right for you, your family, and your career. There’s no need to compete at work if it’s not making you happier or if it’s not what you really want to do. You’re just entering a game you can’t win and maybe at a staggering cost.
“When you listen to the language of too many of our business leaders, it becomes abundantly clear that they have no clue the game they’re playing…” – Simon Sinek
Connect with Mary:
www.encoreexecutivecoaching.com
