When Fear Paralyzes Decision Making
By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” – Rosa Parks
“I’m afraid someone will steal my idea.” Thus began a coaching conversation with a new client. The idea he referred to was a gadget he invented for a specific type of lighting. His fear gripped him to the point, that as of our second meeting, I still didn’t know what the gadget was or what it did. His fear is so strong, he still has not explored his potential market, doesn’t have a marketing plan, and won’t show the prototype to prospective investors. His fear stops him from even discovering who those investors might be.
He is afraid to make a business plan, for fear that he’s committing to writing any thoughts about his invention that someone else might see. Yet, he believes his invention is so valuable, that it could be a breakthrough item in the lighting field. My question to him was “How can the industry learn about your product unless they have insight into the benefits?” He didn’t know the answer to that question. Instead, he launched into the numerous alternatives in marketing and sales, stream of consciousness style. He could work with a distributor, but that would mean the distributor would mark up the price maybe 40%, and he would lose out on the whole 40% of that profit. He could sell directly to consumers from his website, but then he’d have to fill orders on his own, and he couldn’t scale the business fast enough, he could license it to his current company, but then, again, he’d face mark ups that he believed were rightly his own. He considered doing his own marketing and sales but didn’t understand the amount of time and money that would entail.
In short, this client allowed fear to control his decision-making toward a new business venture. He was seeking support to roll out his business, however, it became apparent that he was afraid to make a commitment to improve his chances of success. His fear made each decision painful, and ultimately, he ended up making no decisions. It occurred to me that, although he didn’t realize it, his idea would never succeed until he overcame this irrational fear.
In a 2020 Psychology Today article, the author ties fear in decision making directly to fear of risk. “When it comes to assessments of risk, there may be no more pertinent emotion than fear” the article states. That means that when decision making involves a degree of risk, a negative perception such as danger, peril, or threat overrides positive insights, such as possibilities, ventures, or opportunities”. While everyone can admit to butterflies in the stomach before a major new undertaking (say walking down the aisle), seldom does fear drive a bride out the church’s front door and back home. “… fear of things…tends to result in greater assessments of perceived risk and lower assessments of perceived benefits.” That runaway bride forgot why she fell in love and said “yes” in the first place, the benefits of a loving partner, a future filled with joy and hope. Her fear forced her away from taking that perceived, irrational risk instead of considering the possibilities of the future.
Psychology Today also mentions more research results regarding overcoming fear of risk. “Another key finding from research on fear and decision-making is that perceived risks are often inversely proportional to perceived benefits.This helps us understand why we tend to underestimate risk when we have positive feelings about a particular activity…” An instructional example of irrational fear took place when a relative of mine expressed fear of heights and insisted that I stand directly behind her as we rose several floors on an escalator. She seemed truly paralyzed by her fear. I obliged happily, until I remembered that this woman also was a skier and didn’t seem to share that fear of heights riding up the 300-foot mountain in a chairlift. Her fear of risk involved in heights disappeared when she engaged in an enjoyable, positive activity, such as skiing.
Other studies show that fear of risk taking often is based in a “scarcity mentality”, meaning that “A scarcity mindset causes hyperfixation, leads to short-term coping instead of long-term problem-solving…” This definition reminded me of my client, who remains unable to share his idea in order to successfully bring it to market. He made every excuse to avoid taking positive action. Research has shown that conjuring up excuses is almost always traced back to feelings of fear. Perhaps he made so many excuses because he’s afraid of failure, or maybe he believes he’s his own best resource.
Whatever the reasons, fear impedes forward progress, and stands in the way of people’s happiness Fear is powerful enough to keep people from achieving their dreams and living their best lives. Fear feeds inertia, paralysis, and stagnation and keeps people from taking advantage of opportunities. My client may be living in the self-made jail of his own fear.
What is afraid taken away from you lately?
“Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.” – Samuel Butler
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